he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
