she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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