Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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