we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
