the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
