Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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