Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
