got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
