one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
