Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
