I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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