Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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