I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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