My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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