Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
