And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
