Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
