Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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