I wanna passion pit in your ass
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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