Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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