what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
