i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
