tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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