a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
