if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
