hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize