i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
