next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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