Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
