I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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