I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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