At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
