Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
