I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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