Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
