normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
either way he was missing a nipple.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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