i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
