i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize