is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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