Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
