Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
