My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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