escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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