im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
