He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You were trust falling into bushes
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
