i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize