i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
