i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
