You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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