So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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