That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I want to fling myself into the sun
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
