Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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