I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
