I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
