he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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