I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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