Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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