So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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