You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
