I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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