The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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