just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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