just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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