Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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