is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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