I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
