you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
