I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There r osticjed everywhere
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
