Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
