Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
